For as long as I can recall, I have always been a Gamer.
My mother introduced me to gaming when I was very young.
The first time I played a game, that I recall, was during the SNES era. I recall putting in the cartridge of Yoshi's Island and I was enthralled by what was happening. The screen lit with colours and music and I use to think that it was magic and I was hooked. I was a small child and I was hooked, I didn't know what an addiction was but I knew I wanted more of this.
I grew up believing that gaming was common among people my age, no matter the gender but I was half right, it was common but the older I got the more I realise that there wasn't many female gamers and I felt sad, because I found few females who would talk to me about Video Games, this realisation came about during the PlayStation era, this was when Resident Evil and Crash Bandicoot were my closest companions. During this time, it was then I admitted that, Gaming was apart of me and I was conflicted between admitting it to others or keeping it a big secret. So, to an extent, I kept it to myself, thinking others may like me for it.
I was wrong, in High School, I tried to fit in but I felt odd not admitting that I was a gamer, until one day I said it and a bunch of guys started going off at me how that Video Games are not for girls and I am not a real gamer.
I was shocked. Me, not a real gamer? I been still gaming up to that point, mainly on PC and PlayStation but I didn't know why that made me any less than them. I tried to defend myself, but I was mocked. It was not till year 10, when I thought, "Fuck it" and based most of my school work off games and used them as references. I got good marks but a lot of my peers still refuse to acknowledge that I was their equal but a few did and we spoke occasionally about the games we played. My friend circle, I mainly had since year 9, consisted mainly of otakus and gamers, most were females who felt cast out by their peers too. Though, there were a few males who acknowledged it and rotted me on to keep gaming and screw what others said, which I somewhat did.
Eventually, I moved on again, from High School to TAFE where I found accepting male gamers while still having the few that mocked me for my lifestyle. I didn't care cause I found people who shared the same passion for gamer like I did but this was also the time where I learnt more about the internet and how they perceive female gamers. It was terrible, I felt more upset that these people, that shared the same interest as me, treated me like shit, especially when I one upped them.
It was sad, I was shaking my head when they attack me, saying I should be in a kitchen and not playing with the big boys and yet, a minute later they are asking where the ladies are at. No offence but they were far away from assholes like you cause they have better sense to avoid a sexist pig. This is not an uncommon thing amongst females on the internet, except some get threatened from being a gamer. Anyway, that is as much as I can go on about it.
I am a gamer since I was young and even after all the crap, I have moments where I feel discouraged and stop gaming but it will never stop me from gaming. Gaming is who I am =)
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